Do you feel recharged by spending time with people in your “inner circle”? Do you seem to be the one on the receiving end of an oversharer that you barely know? Have you met someone that never seems to shy away from deep conversations?
This week we are going to explore the CliftonStrengths (StrengthsFinder) theme of Relator. Whether you’re an individual with Relator or a leader wanting to empower your people to perform better, understanding how to turn this talent into a strength will help you be more engaged, more productive and have a better quality of life.
People who are especially talented in the Relator theme are brokers of relationships who aren’t afraid of emotional intimacy. They have the capacity to deepen connections.
NOT THAT KIND OF RELATIONAL
Relator is a relational theme, but make no mistake, having the talent of “Relator” does not necessarily mean you’re outgoing, relational, and friendly to everyone. In fact, most Relators will avoid chit-chat and small talk in favor of deeper conversations. At a party, most Relators want to talk to someone they know and don’t necessarily want to spend time investing in someone they may never see again.
Relators have a magnetism to them, another coach I know calls this the “Relator tractor beam.” This power helps others feel very comfortable and even drawn into friendship with a person with the strength of Relator. As a result, Relators will often have people in their lives who feel much more relationally connected to them then they do in return.
Relators can carry different layers of relational connection within their world. Often times the Relator will have 2 maybe 3 close personal relationships with people that the relator feels comfortable sharing everything with. Outside of that, the relator has the knack for organizing different levels of relational people-groups, even if they don’t consciously know it is going on.
RELATOR AT ITS BEST...AND NOT SO BEST
Someone who has developed their Relator talent into a strength can be seen as a trusted advisor with deep relationships who naturally cares for others and is quick to forge. Mature Relators can develop relationships with anyone, regardless of age, class or gender differences – building relationships simply comes naturally to them. At their best, Relators draw out the relational potential in others.
At it’s worst - the raw and untamed Relator can be cliquish and have a tendency to side with the people they know well, regardless of the facts. Sometimes the Relator can be unwilling to connect with new people - possibly even being standoffish in social situations requiring the Relator to “mingle” or participate in “ice breaker” activities.
WAYS TO FEED (DEVELOP) YOUR RELATOR TALENT
- No matter how busy or worn out you are, spend time with your inner circle, it will make you better and help you recharge.
- Define the relationship with others, chances are they think they are closer friends than you do. Leaving these differences unspoken is a recipe for disappointment down the road.
- If manage others, schedule one on one meetings with all of your direct reports at work to strengthen your connection with them.
- If you’re a parent with the theme of Relator, find some dedicated time with each of your children individually to deepen your relationship with them.
- Seek out work environments that allow you to form bonds with your colleagues and customers. This will help you be more engaged and get more enjoyment out of work.
COACHING AND MANAGING RELATORS
As a coach, manager, or coworker you can build up the Relators on your team by being transparent with them and dedicating one on one interaction time to them. Relators will often say that they do better in classes where they feel like they have a personal connection with their teachers, this translates to their career as well. Relators thrive in the work environment where they can have a “best friend” at work, encourage workgroups where relational connections can develop over the course of 12-24 months. Your Relators are great at playing the relational long game but they may lack small talk to get conversations started so you can pair them on teams with people that have talents like Woo or Positivity.
ARE YOU THRIVING IN LIFE?
Have you ever had that feeling of being stuck in your personal life or at work? You find yourself working with people who don't understand you, doing a job that doesn't fit, and answering to someone who focuses on what you aren't rather than what you are? No matter how many "team building" exercises you do or "self-help" books you read, you still find yourself frustrated and stressed.
WHAT IF EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED TO SUCCEED WAS ALREADY INSIDE OF YOU?
Using a Strengths-based approach backed by Gallup, we help bring out the best in people resulting in higher productivity, lower turnover, and a better quality of life. We help people and organizations use what they do well to overcome their biggest problems.
Gallup’s research has also shown people who focus on their strengths turn their potential into action. People who know and use their CliftonStrengths are:
- 6x as likely to be engaged at work
- 7.8% more productive in their role
- 3x as likely to have an excellent quality of life
- 6x as likely to do what they do best every day